视频 http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMTcwMjExMzUy.html之前我并未看过Ellen Show，也不知道Ellen DeGeneres为何人。在开心网看了她在杜兰大学的毕业主题演讲之后才知道她。很喜欢她的演讲。——杜兰大学在路易斯安那州，新奥尔良。 ellen同学出生在美国路易安娜州，1958年生，水瓶座，推销员的女儿。号称法国，英国，德国，爱尔兰四国混血。你可以从她的金发碧眼里看出她的日耳曼血统，从大鼻子里发现法国血统，从她在The Ellen Degenerate Show中彪悍的坐姿里发现爱尔兰血统。她也是新奥尔良人，12次艾美奖获得者。Thank you, President Cowan, Mrs. President Cowen; distinguished guests, undistinguished guests - you know who you are, honored faculty and creepy Spanish teacher. 谢谢，卡恩校长和校长夫人、各位尊贵的来宾，和没那么尊贵的来宾——你自己知道自己是谁，各位尊敬的教职员和讨厌的西班牙语老师。And thank you to all the graduating class of 2009, I realize most of you are hungover and have splitting headaches and haven't slept since Fat Tuesday, but you can't graduate 'til I finish, so listen up.感谢所有2009届的毕业生，我知道你们绝大多数人还因为宿醉头痛欲裂，狂欢到今天都还没睡，但没听完我的演讲你们就不能毕业，所以都听好了。When I was asked to make the commencement speech, I immediately said yes. 当我被问及是否来参加毕业典礼演讲的时候，我立刻就回答了：Yes！Then I went to look up what commencement meant. 然后，我才去查“毕业典礼”是什么意思。Which would have been easy if I had a dictionary, but most of the books in our house are Portia's, and they're all written in Australian. 如果我有本词典的话就轻松多了，但我们家大部分的书都是波蒂亚的，这些书都是澳大利亚语的。（这里是拿波蒂亚的口音说笑。Portia de Rossi，墨尔本大学法律系的高材生，是个澳洲出生的小镇姑娘，2008年和Ellen结婚）So I had to break the word down myself, to find out the meaning.所以我得自己摸索，去找出这个词的意思。 Commencement: common, and cement. Common cement. Commencement毕业典礼，common常见的，and cement水泥，Common cement. 常见的水泥。You commonly see cement on sidewalks. 你常常见到水泥，在人行道上。Sidewalks have cracks, and if you step on a crack, you break your mother's back. 人行道有裂缝，如果你踩到裂缝，那么就会撞上你妈妈的背。So there's that.所以大概意思就是这样了。But I'm honored that you've asked me here to speak at your common cement.但我很荣幸被邀请来站在你们“常见的水泥”上演讲。（笑）I thought that you had to be a famous alumnus - alumini - aluminum - alumis - you had to graduate from this school. 我以为非得是又有名，又是你们的校友（小游、效尤、消油）才能来。And I didn't go to college here, and I don't know if President Cowan knows, I didn't go to any college at all. Any college. 我没有在这里念过大学，我不知道卡恩校长知不知道，我根本没有上过大学，任何大学。And I'm not saying you wasted your time, or money, but look at me, I"m a huge celebrity.当然，我不是说你们在浪费时间和金钱，不过看看我，我可是个超级大名人啊。 （全场爆笑～包括卡恩）Although I did graduate from the school of hard knocks, our mascot was the knockers. 事实上我毕业于社会磨难成长之中。I spent a lot of time here growing up.My mom worked at (?) and I would go there every time I needed to steal something out of her purse. 我在这儿度过成长的时光。我妈妈在XX工作，我常来找她，每当我要偷她钱包里的钱时。（大家笑）But why am I here today? Clearly not to steal, you're too far away and I'd never get away with it.但是，今天我为什么到这里来呢？ 显然不是来偷你们的钱，你们隔得那么远，而且就算得手我也跑不掉。 I'm here because of you. Because I can't think of a more tenacious, more courageous graduating class. 我今天来这里是因为你们。没有比你们更坚韧，更勇敢的毕业生了。I mean, look at you all, wearing your robes. Usually when you're wearing a robe at 10 in the morning, it means you've given up. 看看你们每一个人，穿着你们的袍子（学士袍），通常我们说早上十点还穿着袍子（睡袍），代表你放弃人生了。I'm here because I love New Orleans. I was born and raised here, I spent my formative years here, and like you, while I was living here I only did laundry six times. 我在这里，因为我爱新奥尔良。我在这里出生长大，在此度过最美好的时光。和你们一样，我住在这里时，也就洗过六次衣服。（众人笑）When I finished school, I was completely lost. And by school, I mean middle school, but I went ahead and finished high school anyway. 当我从学校毕业以后，我完完全全迷失了自我。我所说的学校，是指初中（大家笑）。后来我还是继续读完了高中。And I - I really, I had no ambition, I didn't know what I wanted to do. I did everything from - I shucked oysters, I was a hostess, I was a bartender, I was a waitress, I painted houses, I sold vaccuum cleaners, I had no idea. 我当时没有任何抱负，我不知道自己想做什么。我什么工作都做，我剥过牡蛎、做过迎宾、酒保、服务员、粉刷房子、卖吸尘器，我完全不知道自己想做什么。And I thought I'd just finally settle in some job, and I would make enough money to pay my rent, maybe have basic cable, maybe not, I didn't really have a plan.我只想随便找个糊口的工作，过一辈子，能有钱付得起房租就行。也许还能装个有线电视，也许没有。我完全没有任何计划。My point is that, by the time I was your age, I really thought I knew who I was, but I had no idea. 我想说的是，当我像你们这么大的时候，我真的以为我了解自己，但其实我并不了解。Like for example, when I was your age, I was dating men. 举例来说，我在你们这个年纪的时候，还在跟男人约会。(大家大笑。Ellen系著名女同志，八号提案被否决后，高调和女友结婚，双方家长参加)So what I'm saying is, when you're older, most of you will be gay. Anyone writing this stuff down? Parents?所以我的意思是，当你们再长大点后，大多数的人，多数会变成同性恋。没人把这句话记下来么？父母们？（全场爆笑，ellen自己也笑了）Anyway, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, and the way I ended up on this path was from a very tragic event.总之，当时我不知道我的人生要干嘛，而最后我找到了我的人生目标，却是因为一件十分悲惨的事。I was maybe 19, and my girlfriend at the time was killed in a car accident. And I passed the accident, and I didn't know it was her and I kept going, and I found out shortly after that, it was her. 我那时可能才19岁，当时的女友死于车祸。我从事故现场旁经过，不知道那就是她，还继续往前走，不久后，才知道那是她。And I was living in a basement apartment, I had no money, I had no heat, no air, I had a mattress on the floor and the apartment was infested with fleas. 我当时住在地下室里，没有钱，没有暖气，没有新鲜空气，床垫就放在地板上，房间里满是跳蚤。And I was soul-searching, I was like, why is she suddenly gone, and there are fleas here? 我困惑不已，心想，为什么她突然走了，而跳蚤却还在这里？I don't understand, there must be a purpose, and wouldn't it be so convenient if we could pick up the phone and call God, and ask these questions.我无法理解，但其中一定有什么理由。要是能直接拿起电话打给上帝问个清楚，不就太好了。 And I started writing and what poured out of me was an imaginary conversation with God, which was one-sided, and I finished writing it and I looked at it and I said to myself, and I hadn't even been doing stand-up, ever, there was no club in town. I said, "I'm gonna do this on the Tonight Show With Johnny Carson"- at the time he was the king - "and I'm gonna be the first woman in the history of the show to be called over to sit down." 于是我开始写一些东西，心里涌现出我跟上帝的对话，虽然只是我一个人的独白。当我完成立它后，我阅读了这个剧本，对自己说——那时候我还没做过脱口秀，小镇里也没有这样的表演——我说，“我要在约翰尼卡森的《今夜秀》上跟大家说这些” ——当时，他是脱口秀之王——“我会成为这个节目里第一个被邀请和强尼一起坐下来被访问的女嘉宾”。And several years later, I was the first woman in the history of the show, and only woman in the history of the show to sit down, because of that phone conversation with God that I wrote. 数年之后，我成为这个节目史上，第一位也是唯一一位，被邀请坐下来和他访问的女性，就因为我写的这个跟上帝电话的对话。And I started this path of stand-up and it was successful and it was great, but it was hard, because I was trying to please everybody and I had this secret that I was keeping, that I was gay. 从此我开始做单人脱口秀，做得很成功，也很辛苦，因为我试图讨好每个人，同时守着我身为同性恋的秘密。 And I thought if people found out they wouldn't like me, they wouldn't laugh at me.我想要是人们发现了，就不会喜欢我了。Then my career turned into - I got my own sitcom, and that was very successful, another level of success.后来我开始做情景喜剧，我自己的情景喜剧，很成功，另一个数量级的成功。And I thought, what if they find out I'm gay, then they'll never watch. 我于是更担心，要是人们发现了怎么办，是不是就不会看我的节目了。And this was a long time ago, this was when we just had white presidents - this was back, many years ago - and I finally decided that I was living with so much shame, and so much fear, that I just couldn't live that way anymore, and I decided to come out and make it creative. And my character would come out at the same time. 这都是很久以前的事了，那时候我们的总统还都是白人。（大家大笑）说回来，回到多年前。最终我还是决定，我一直带着羞耻和恐惧而活，我再也不能像那样活下去了，于是我决定让剧中的主角和我自己同时出柜。And it wasn't to make a political statement, it wasn't to do anything other than to free myself up from this heaviness that I was carrying around, and I just wanted to be honest. 不是为了什么政治原因或是其他，只是为了让我从一个背负已久的沉重枷锁中释放出来，我只是想要诚实！And I thought, "What's the worst that could happen? I can lose my career". I did. I lost my career. 我想还会有什么悲惨的事情发生吗？难道我会失去演艺事业吗？结果，我真的失去了。The show was cancelled after six years, without even telling me, I read it in the paper. 我的节目在做了六年之后，没有告知我就停播了，我看报纸才知道。The phone didn't ring for three years. I had no offers. Nobody wanted to touch me at all. 家里的电话三年没有再响过。没人愿意找我做节目。没人愿意接触我。Yet, I was getting letters from kids that almost committed suicide, but didn't, because of what I did. 然而我收到了想要自杀的同性恋孩子的来信，他们因为我的出柜而最终没有自杀。And I realised that I had a purpose. 我才意识到，我在这个世界上是有目的的。And it wasn't just about me and it wasn't about celebrity, but I felt like I was being punished... it was a bad time, I was angry, I was sad, and then I was offered a talkshow. 它不仅仅是关于我，也不是关于名流，而是我觉得自己好像受到惩罚。。。那曾是一段痛苦的日子，我觉得悲伤、愤怒，后来有人找我做脱口秀。And the people that offered me the talkshow tried to sell it. And most stations didn't want to pick it up. Most people didn't want to buy it because they thought nobody would watch me.制作公司想要卖出节目，但是大多数电视台都不愿意买，因为他们觉得没有人会要看我的节目。Really when I look back on it, I wouldn't change a thing. 当我回想起这些往事的事情，我一点也不想去改变什么。I mean, it was so important for me to lose everything because I found out what the most important thing is, is to be true to yourself. 因为我意识到，即使失去一切，最重要的事是，是对自己诚实。Ultimately, that's what's gotten me to this place. I don't live in fear, I'm free, I have no secrets. and I know I'll always be ok, because no matter what, I know who I am. 我的选择令我在今天能活得自在。没有恐惧和秘密，我知道一切都是OK的，因为无论如何，我知道自己是谁。So In conclusion, when I was younger I thought success was something different. I thought when I grow up, I want to be famous. I want to be a star. I want to be in movies. 所以，总结一下，当我年轻时候，对成功的定义和现在不同。我想我的志愿是，我长大之后，要很出名，要做明星，拍电影。When I grow up I want to see the world, drive nice cars, I want to have groupies. To quote the Pussycat Dolls. How many people thought it was "boobies", by the way? It's not, it's "groupies".我想环游世界，开名车，我要有自己的粉丝（groupies）。以上引用小野猫演唱组的话。嘿，有多少人听成boobies了，不，我说的是粉丝。But my idea of success is different today. 但现在我对成功的看法已经改变了。And as you grow, you'll realise the definition of success changes.当你长大，就会明白成功的定义是会变的。For many of you, today, success is being able to hold down 20 shots of tequila. 对你们中的很多人来说，成功的定义是能灌下20杯龙舌兰酒。For me, the most important thing in your life is to live your life with integrity, and not to give into peer pressure. to try to be something that you're not. To live your life as an honest and compassionate person. to contribute in some way. 对我来说，生命中最重要的事是：活得诚实！不要因别人的压力而逼着就做不是真正的你，要活得正直，有怜悯之心，在某些方面有所贡献。So to conclude my conclusion: follow your passion, stay true to yourself. Never follow anyone else's path, unless you're in the woods and you're lost and you see a path, and by all means you should follow that. Don't give advice, it will come back and bite you in the ass. Don't take anyone's advice. So my advice to you is to be true to yourself and everything will be fine.最后，总结一下我的总结：追随热情，忠于自我。决不要追随别人的脚步。除非你在森林里迷路了才要这么做。别给人忠告，别接受任何人的忠告。所以，我要给大家的忠告是（大家大笑）：做真实的自己，一切都会没事的。And I know that a lot of you are concerned about your future, but there's no need to worry. The economy is booming, the job market is wide open, the planet is just fine. 我知道在座很多人都在担心自己的前途，但不用担心，经济蓬勃发展，就业前景相当看好（大家大笑），地球也好得很！（大家笑）It's gonna be great. 一切都会好的。You've already survived a hurricane. What else can happen to you? And as I mentioned before, some of the most devastating things that happen to you will teach you the most. And now you know the right questions to ask in your first job interview. Like, "Is it above sea level?" . 你们都经历了飓风，还有什么可怕的？正如我前面提到的，最惨痛的事会教你最多。现在你知道第一次面试的时候该问什么吗？“公司高于海平面吗？”（大家笑）So to conclude my conclusion that I've previously concluded, in the common cement speech, I guess what I'm trying to say is life is like one big Mardi Gras. But instead of showing your boobs, show people your brain, and if they like what they see, you'll have more beads than you know what to do with. And you'll be drunk, most of the time. 最后，总结一下我刚才做的“常见的水泥”演讲的结论，我猜我想说的是，人生犹如一场狂欢嘉年华，记得展现你的头脑而不是胸部。So the Katrina class of 2009, I say congratulations and if you don't remember a thing I said today, remember this: you're gonna be ok, dum de dum dum dum, just dance.经历了卡特里娜飓风的2009届毕业生们，祝贺你们。如果你完全不记得我今天说了什么，就请记住这一句：you're gonna be OK, dum de dum dum dum，Just Dance!（Lady Gaga的歌。Ellen DeGeneres's Show的结束音乐。Just Dance音乐响起，全场起立，Ellen跳舞环场一周。）
